Fess Up! Do You Have Bad Manners?

Bad manners are wearing us down!

A day doesn’t go by that I don’t overhear some exhausted patron or clerk, grandmother, teacher, CEO, television judge, or tennis coach exasperated by the seeming lack of manners witnessed daily. If I had a dollar for the number of times I have heard, “It is just unbelievable how rude people have become today!” I’d be loaded.

 I am not just being hypersensitive to people’s complaints because I happen to be an etiquette trainer. Quite the contrary, if I internalized all of the manners complaints that I receive via email in my role as an etiquette expert,  I probably would change careers… yesterday.  Lately, I have just noticed that the general populace believes that bad manners might be winning the war against civility.

The amusing contradiction of course is that everyone is complaining about other people’s manners but nobody seems quite aware of, or willing to, fess up to their own manners gaffs. I include myself in this group, and to drive home this point with an example, I will crassly throw my own husband under the bus. Just this past weekend, I watched my spouse repeatedly check his email from his phone while on the field coaching our son’s flag football team. I was probably doing something equally as heinous and coarse on the sidelines as I cheekily admonished his bad manners, but darned if I know what it was…

Well, I blame…

The internet, reality television, the government, texting, the football coach, and Facebook, rank high among some of today’s most favorite anti-manners villains. Were it not for outside forces “making” us behave impolitely, our manners would not be slipping. Or would they? Do outside influences have an impact on societal behavior?

Am I a victim of external sway? Have I no choice regarding my own conduct? Do the many pressures of society demand that I drop the practice of etiquette and become boorish and uncouth?

Of course not, I am completely responsible for my own actions. Yes, it is true that technology has introduced a new set of manners complexities to society, however, I have a responsibility to choose to be undaunted by today’s challenges and continue to follow basic manners principles, even online when shrouded by the curtain of internet “anonymity”. 

When we choose to act impolitely we can’t in the next breathe turn around and blame everyone else for our churlish society.  It stands to reason that if our complaint is that manners rules are slipping, collectively we are allowing our manners to slip.

If we are unable or unwilling to see our own ill-mannered behavior, and we blame everyone else for our bad-mannered society, how is it possible to turn the ship around? Why not just throw up our hands in defeat and exclaim, “Manners? I haven’t time for manners; now step aside while I notify my considerable Facebook network that I don’t much care for Mondays.”

Without manners, day to day life would be bedlam. It would be impossible to leave our homes to purchase milk if our neighbor could shoot us for our newspaper or paint our house blue to match his peonies. So as beleaguered as we all are by the stresses of life in the twenty first century, we have no choice but to practice excellent manners, model good manners and teach children etiquette. If we let manners go by the wayside it won’t take long before we live in chaos. It is inherently obvious that if just one generation is not taught how to behave politely, then good manners will quickly disappear. Who will teach etiquette to children if we don’t teach etiquette to children?

We are shocked, saddened, exhausted and a little grossed out by (as the title of the brilliant Lynne Truss’ excellent manners book says), “The Utter Bloody Rudeness of the World Today.” But that doesn’t mean we throw in the towel, drop into an easy chair, wave a white hanky in the air, and give up on manners. If we give up, the “etiquette(ly) challenged” win.

I refuse to live in a world without manners, don’t you? Be selfish; use good manners, model good manners, and teach children etiquette so that you (and I) get to live in a more gracious society.

Now is the time to recommit to a more civilized culture. Let’s declare a war on bad manners by taking note of and improving our own etiquette. Think about all we would gain if we brought back civility, respect, and integrity. A poised, five year old little boy said it best when he quipped, “Use good manners so you don’t make everyone sick and get in trouble.” Indeed.

You Have the Power to Destroy a Child’s Future

Recently while at the post office, I bumped into a lovely stay-at-home mom I know. Aware of the success I have had as a mompreneur, she asked if I would mind giving her some career advice. After having been out of the workforce for the past 7 years, she was interested in contributing a few extra dollars per month to the household while perhaps also receiving a little mental stimulation. She had a few employment ideas, working part-time at a retail store in the mall or ringing up groceries, but was far from enthused about leaving her kids in the evening to make minimum wage. She also did not want to sell candles or cosmetics as a representative for one of the multi-level marketing companies.

“How did you do it? You have two kids and another on the way and you have created a great business.” she asked me. I responded to her the same way that I respond to the many people who ask, “Simple, I identified what I loved to do, I took a leap of faith and worked hard to put my passion to work in the real world.”

“Oh, I could never do that,” she said. She proceeded to list the many reasons why it would be impossible for her to tackle any sort of exciting venture that might charge her up and make her some money. With her endless list of road blocks she had literally paralyzed herself and drastically limited her options. Our short conversation left me a little depressed when it should have left me feeling excited for her exciting future. I knew that there was nothing that I could say to her to get her over the hurdles she had thrown up in front of herself.

Road blocks are the excuses people have for why they will “never be able to do it.” The fascinating thing about road blocks is they are usually very small, surmountable blips that effective people can solve before lunch. “Yeah, but, I will need liability insurance…”, “Yeah, but, I will have to get a business license…”, “Yeah, but, I will have to call people on the phone…”, “yeah, but I will have to find space to work…”, “Yeah, but, I need my sleep and can’t get up before the kids to do my work…”

Often people’s road block lists are extensive, seem never ending, and are a residual of limiting beliefs created during childhood. A limiting belief is a mental acceptance that a negative thought about oneself is true. “I am very shy so I could never speak in public.” “My brother is the smart one and I am the athlete so I could never finish that degree program.” “My father told me I would probably only be good at being a wife, so even though my idea to become an arts and crafts trainer is a good one, I better not try to start a business.” Limiting beliefs are powerful and feel very real to the person, but to the onlooker can sound like nonsense.

Limiting beliefs are not the same thing as honest self assessments, as in the following examples: “Becoming a professional tennis player is out of the question because I am 40 and have never picked up a racket;” “I am really great at running the daily operations of a company, but my abrasive personality wouldn’t be a good fit for the sales department;” and, “I worked very hard at physics in college, I even hired a private tutor, and I just do not have the mental aptitude to become a physicist.”

Parents, teachers, coaches, tutors, and trainers have a responsibility to avoid instilling limiting beliefs in children. Everyone can name at least one adult who said something so hurtful to us that we have shied away from the “offensive behavior” ever since. Having no crystal ball to see the future there is no way it is possible to know what a child is capable of achieving. Most negative assessments about a child’s abilities are at the very best premature and at the worst ridiculous, unfounded, callous, and harmful. What good does it do the child for an adult to look at his arts and crafts project and say, “Well, you probably should stop right there because you are just making a mess…too bad, but I just don’t see creativity in your future.” Or, “Manners lessons are wasted on you; you had better get used to paying high dry cleaning bills because your shirts will always be soiled.”

It is powerful to have a long-lasting and positive effect on a child. As adults we never know when a child will be touched by our words, so we should be conscious at all times of what we say and how we say it. The last thing that any well meaning, warm adult would ever want is to help introduce a limiting belief that stays with an impressionable child for life and keeps her from achieving her dreams and aspirations. Our words and actions can be the difference between someone who heads out into the world and makes things happen, and someone who sits inside too paralyzed to make a move.

Visit http://www.artsandcraftsmoms.com and become a certified arts and crafts trainer who helps build up children’s self esteem and never instills limiting beliefs in the students.

Follow Your Passion and Live the Life You Love

If we take a good, hard look at ourselves, it is clear that we all have a strong passion for something. Innovative go-getters identify that passion, take hold of it, and run towards a bright and exciting future. Martha Stewart created an art form out of daily living, and built a multi-billion dollar empire around her flair for home economics. The late, great Julia Child mastered the fine art of French cooking and became a household name and culinary heroine. Debbie Fields took her childhood love of baking chocolate chip cookies and created a sensationally successful Fortune 500 company. Sadly, many people fail to follow their passion, and get stuck in the same dead end job for years and years.

Years in a dead end job take their toll. Boredom, depression, illness, loss of direction and drive are a few of the symptoms resultant in not following one’s passion. Goals that were once set for exciting and satisfied lives tend to go by the wayside when people fail to take the leap into a career that electrifies. Monday mornings feel like torture and the week ahead stretches on interminably.

How frustrating it must be for the “closet entrepreneur” to follow someone else’s lead when she wishes she were making all of the decisions. It is not uncommon for the average person to stay in a career rut because of risk aversion and fear of taking a leap into the unknown. Concerns about health insurance, a steady paycheck, and even failure, can paralyze some individuals and keep them tethered to a job that they hate. Although rational, these fears are not worth throwing away happiness, personal growth and development, and career fulfillment.

7 Tips to escape your dead end job and follow your passion!

1. Identify your passion.
What is it that you love to do? Are you passionate about teaching or training children?  Do you spend all of your off hours doing a hobby like arts and crafts? Do you want to make a change in the world like training kids to use good manners and teaching etiquette or teaching women to be financially secure? What business idea would make you jump out of bed in the morning before the alarm rings?

2. Discover a business that incorporates your passion.
If arts and crafts, for example, ends up being the passion you wish to pursue, what kind of a business could you set up? Could you be a wonderful arts and crafts trainer who could start a small business teaching students in local schools, community centers or retirement homes? Do you create beautiful crafts that would sell in local gift shops or online? Would you enjoy teaching evening classes for an adult education program?

3. Interview experts doing what you love.
It is really inspiring to speak with people who have made a career out of your same passion. They have taken the risk that you wish to take and made a success of it. What did they do to create a career that they love? What hurdles did they have to overcome? How hard did they have to work? Did their businesses fall into their laps or did it take some effort to make that dream come true? Was the effort worth it?

4. Work nights and weekends developing and growing your business before quitting your job.
Although it would be a dream to walk into your boss’ office and quit on the spot, this is usually not a good idea. Use your spare time to prepare for the jump. If you need training, study evenings and weekends. Write your business plan, your marketing plan and advertising strategy and begin networking after work or on weekends. For example, if you feel passionate about teaching etiquette to children, schedule weekend classes, build your clientele and get your name out there. It will take a little hard work to jump into your new life but it will be worth it.

5. Find a mentor or supporter.
Who do you know that can give you the business support that you need as you start your own business? Someone to bounce ideas off helps to keep up momentum and buoy spirits. It is great to find a knowledgeable entrepreneur willing to look over your proposed business plan and budgets and who understands firsthand what it is like to follow one’s passion. There will be plenty of not so ambitious people who will cast doubt on your decision to start your own endeavor. Your mentor should be someone who believes in you and can give you the support that you need to conquer your fears and go for your dream.

6. Save up an emergency fund of cash.
Scrimp and save while still in your dead end job. Pay off outstanding bills and put every drop of extra cash into a savings account. You will want to be as financially at ease as possible when starting your own business. When you do start your business, guerilla market! Spend as little money as possible to make your dream a reality.

7. Take action!
What action step can you take today to make your dream a reality? Starting a business can seem insurmountable if looking at all of the steps needed to become a success. Entrepreneurs chip away one task at a time, like becoming certified to do something, thinking up a business name, or writing copy for an advertisement. Once you get the momentum going it will become easier and easier to proceed toward your goal!

Failing to discover your true passion and ending up in a career rut is depressing and can lead to a very unhappy and unfulfilled life. Nobody wants to get up day after day and go to a job that is uninspiring and dull. Identifying what you truly love to do, coming up with an exciting business idea, and taking a leap of faith can lead to a rewarding life filled with hope and promise. If you are the creative type who wishes to take control of your own destiny, follow your passion and live a life that you love!

If you are interested in following your passion and living a life that you love visit http://www.etiquettemoms.com and http://www.artsandcraftsmoms.com Become certified to train children etiquette and arts and crafts. Moms on Edge distance learning “train the trainer” programs are filled with excellent content and ongoing support!

5 Things I Love About Being a Children’s Arts and Crafts Trainer

The concentration on children’s faces as they work to complete a challenging arts and crafts project is breathtaking. Committed to completing the project to the best of their abilities and eliciting the proud “oohs and ahhs” of parents and arts and crafts trainer is foremost on their minds as they diligently wield their paintbrushes, scissors and glue. The quiet dignity that they possess as they work causes my heart to swell with pride for the incredible human beings that they are and for their tremendous potential. I am often amazed at the talent that they have and the original work that they produce.

Children derive great benefit from exploring their creativity, using their hands and expanding their minds. Arts and crafts classes allow children and teens to develop their brains and cognitive skills and hone their hand eye coordination and fine motor skills. Often overexposed to technology, arts and crafts classes force children to look up from their cell phones and away from the computer and television screens in order to create something imaginative and unique. Kids have the opportunity to tap into talents that may be unrealized.

1) I love being a children’s arts and crafts trainer.
Reason: Children possess an innocence and grace that reminds me to appreciate every minute I am fortunate enough to work with them. The added benefit of an already fun job is that I grow and learn from each of my students. I am able to continue developing my own artistic and teaching skills with each class as I watch the children blossom under my guidance.

2) I love introducing a new arts and crafts project to eager participants.
Reason: I may have tie dyed t-shirts with hundreds of children but the project feels fresh and new with every new group of excited kids. Children possess an enthusiasm and gusto for life that keeps me fired up! Each new student brings something unique and special to the classroom. It is exciting to watch a child’s eyes light up when they are exposed to new materials, techniques and ideas.

3) I love boosting a child’s self esteem while developing her creativity.
Reason: In a world where criticism flows freely it feels great to be the one lucky enough to encourage. Looking for the wonderful things that children do well is inspiring to them and inspiring to an arts and crafts trainer. Dissolving limiting beliefs and replacing those negative thoughts with potential and promise opens up a new world to kids. It is gratifying to know that one’s support and insight can help a child to envision a future filled with unlimited potential.

4) I love being an entrepreneur and running my own business.
Reason: It is not easy being a business owner. Entrepreneurs are responsible for managing fiscal responsibilities, keeping on top of marketing and advertising, recruiting new customers, handling customer service situations and developing new products. For those individuals who possess guts, drive, tenacity and enthusiasm, running a business is the perfect career. The pros of running a business like creating one’s own hours, being in charge, never being bored and making money for oneself far outweigh the cons. Entrepreneurs are risk takers and visionaries.

5) I love following my passion!
Reason: Can there be any greater feeling than waking up each morning excited to start working? Finding a career that not only satisfies but inspires is very important to having a fulfilled life. Many people get stuck doing work that doesn’t suit them or bores them to tears because they are afraid to take a risk and follow their dreams. Following my passion has allowed me to create a life that I love. I am able to work flexible hours so that I can still be a full time mom while following my dreams of being a creative business owner.

Taking the steps to build a business that is fulfilling and creative is essential to career happiness. Being an arts and crafts trainer is a fun opportunity to work with kids and make a difference in their lives. It is truly gratifying to wake up each day excited to tackle the challenges that await, and guiding children through the creative process.

Moms on Edge has just launched Arts and Crafts Moms a distance learning program that trains and certifies people to teach arts and crafts to children while helping to boost self esteem. To learn more about this exciting opportunity to start a business in the arts visit http://www.artsandcraftsmoms.com

Are You Killing Your Child’s Creativity by Allowing Excessive Texting?

As adults we are very concerned with the psychological well being of Our children. As much as it is a cliché to say it, they certainly do represent the future. Looking back over the past decade, there is no denying that the landscape in which we raise kids has changed drastically. Perhaps things started to change in the 80’s when we first played Atari’s “Pong” and started watching MTV. Those “advances” in technology glued us a little more to our sets. The 80’s of course was just a harbinger of what was to come.  

Today’s kids stare at one screen or another on average of 4+ hours per day and they send an average of 1750 text messages per month with many children pushing the number way above 5,000.  One 13 year old featured in the news was proud (and not admonished by her parents) for sending 14,528 text messages in one month which converts to 484 text messages a day, or one every two minutes of every waking hour.

I recently took my 4 year old to a popular café in my town. We sat at the end of a long table with 8 teenagers at the other end. I was fascinated to observe the teens sitting absolutely silent, the only indication that anyone was sitting within close proximity to us was that the table top was vibrating from their cell phones. Not only were the kids not speaking to one another, they seemed oblivious of one another’s presence.  It was as if each teen were in a cocoon just staring down at a phone and texting.

I have tried to find something positive about their behavior and try as I might I can’t. I even read about a small obscure British survey that claimed that kids who text, read better than those who don’t, but the eighty eight child study failed to give me hope. For these teens the promise and rush of the incoming message far outweighed the value of their face to face interactions.

The time that kids are staring at screens is passive and non-productive time and in the case of the teens described above, ill mannered and detrimental to relationship building.  I am supportive of downtime, television time and computer time; I am also supportive of using the cell phone and text messaging to relay information, but not as a hobby. For proper cognitive development children must stay occupied with activities that grow their brains. A child’s brain is not fully formed until between the ages of 18 and 21.

Instead of sending multitudes of little messages or updating their social networking sites with photos of themselves, children’s time could be better spent doing a variety of activities. Working on critical thinking skills, playing sports, building meaningful face to face relationships, relating to others, and developing creativity and imagination are all behaviors that kids must pursue to become well rounded adults. It is important that they have uninterrupted blocks of time to focus on the task at hand. A cell phone that vibrates every 2 minutes of the day disrupts a child’s focus and never allows her to become fully absorbed in the activity.

Doing arts and crafts is a terrific way for kids to occupy themselves constructively. Arts and crafts projects are wildly popular with people of all ages and stages and can be done alone or in groups. From painting and jewelry making, to cake decorating, there are activities for every personality and skill set.

Arts and crafts challenges kids to plan, tackle, and complete something. Children must learn to focus on the task at hand and pay attention to detail, traits they will need to complete college and be successful in their careers. Arts and crafts aid children in developing whole brain thinking for better cognitive processing. Arts and crafts teach children to use intuition and perception. And arts and crafts help kids acquire knowledge by the use of reasoning.

Arts and crafts train children in patience. In a society where our kids are being bombarded with instant images, messages and information, craft projects train kids to wait. Fortunately crafts projects do not provide instant gratification because kids have to wait for paint and glue to dry, clay to be fired and mediums to setup. Although life comes at kids fast, arts and crafts can teach them that not everything they desire is delivered to them immediately.  Impulsive behavior can be dangerous, costly and self defeating. Learning that some things are worth waiting for is an essential lesson. When kids believe that their needs must be met immediately they risk great disappointment and lives filled with impatience, anxiety, stress and anger.  Arts and crafts are an excellent vehicle for teaching kids to enjoy the wait and anticipate the outcome.

As adults it is important that we assess the impact of the behaviors our children choose. Just because it is cool, hip and everybody is doing it, doesn’t make it healthy. Because children’s brains are not fully formed they are often unable to distinguish between those behaviors that have a negative impact and those that have a positive impact. Activities such as arts and crafts are positive and should be encouraged and embraced.

Moms on Edge has just launched Arts and Crafts Moms a distance learning program that trains and certifies people to teach arts and crafts to children while helping to boost self esteem. To learn more about this exciting opportunity to start a business in the arts visit http://www.artsandcraftsmoms.com

Top Ten Reasons Arts and Crafts Helps Boost a Child’s Self Esteem

A child’s self esteem is built throughout the course of childhood. Although ultimately the child develops her own perceptions of self and builds her own self esteem, reinforcement from the outside world is crucial in fortifying the child’s self assessment. Appropriate responses to the child support the child’s opinion of herself, “I think that I did a nice job completing this arts and crafts project.” “Yes, you did a terrific job completing your arts and crafts project. I can tell by the quality of the finished piece that you really put your all into it!”
Praise just for the sake of praise isn’t effective in building a child’s self esteem. Kids are very insightful, especially teens, and even the most enthusiastic praise will ring hollow if it is not attached to something meaningful. “Wow, you are amazing!” “Why, what did I do?”
Creative activities such as arts and crafts provide an outstanding opportunity for adults to help bolster a child’s self esteem. As the child works the observant adult has almost unlimited opportunities to point out what the child is doing well.
Top ten reasons arts and crafts helps boost a child’s self esteem.
1. Arts and crafts invites the child to experiment with supplies, techniques, and directions that are often foreign and intimidating. Tackling and becoming adept at creative new tasks brings satisfaction and gratification to children of all ages.
2. Arts and crafts encourages children to push themselves to plan and finish an entire project. Children feel a great sense of accomplishment when they are responsible for completing an entire task from A to Z.
3. Arts and crafts classes produce a fertile environment for meeting and interacting with new people. It can be difficult for some children to venture beyond their comfort zones and intermingle with children they don’t know. It is very flattering and a boost to self esteem for children to hit it off and work with new friends.
4. Arts and crafts classes force children to take risk and put themselves and their work “out there”. It is a gamble to create something and show people because there is the possibility of receiving criticism. Children, especially teens are averse to this type of hazard. A supportive arts and crafts trainer creates an environment where children feel comfortable exposing their work. Children who learn how to tackle risk are better suited and more comfortable tackling appropriate risk as adults.
5. Arts and crafts teach open mindedness. Creative questions do not have finite answers like math or physics problems. When doing arts and crafts children learn how to explore the many different possible solutions to the problems that they face. Being imaginative and open minded allows for them to invent solutions that are exciting and inspired. Children gain the confidence to tackle many problems in creative and ingenious ways.
6. Arts and crafts aid in dispelling a child’s “limiting beliefs”. It is very common for children to create ideas about their own abilities that restrict their activities. Thoughts like, “I am not smart enough to do this,” are destructive and chip away at their self esteem. Craft projects teach children how to change damaging preconceived notions. Children learn how much they truly are capable of and build on each experience gaining confidence with each project.
7. Arts and crafts projects illustrate to children that they can achieve success. It is good for children to discover that they can be victorious. Success feels great and inspires children to reach for more and attempt harder and harder tasks.
8. Arts and crafts allows an opportunity for children to let loose and have fun. In a relaxed and non-competitive atmosphere children can explore their carefree and imaginative side. Seeing that they are multidimensional beings contributes to their overall sense of well being and a healthy sense of self.
9. Arts and crafts classes permit children to see themselves in a fresh, new light. It is important that kids have the opportunity to survey many different pursuits. Allowing kids to choose the activities that excite and delight them gives them the confidence to later pursue their own interests and eventually choose meaningful careers and pastimes.
10. Arts and crafts promote a passion for learning! Kids who have expanded their confidence through creativity and developing a healthy self esteem are curious about learning new things. The self assurance that they build doing arts and crafts overflows into all of their endeavors making for a rich and highly satisfying childhood.

Moms on Edge has just launched Arts and Crafts Moms a distance learning course that certifies people to teach arts and crafts to kids. Visit http://www.artsandcraftsmoms.com to learn more about our wonderful new opportunity!

Auctiva Interviews Moms on Edge

Please visit the link below to read an interesting article about our use of global manufacturing resources.
http://www.auctiva.com/edu/entry.aspx?id=Sourcing-for-Online-Sales-Think-Globally

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.