Self-Defense Will Give Peace of Mind.

The world is a dangerous place; it is NOT the same place where we grew up. Here are some chilling facts:

• If you live in the suburbs, a pedophile or registered sex offender probably lives within one mile of your family. If you live in an urban environment, the pedophile lives much closer.
• One in three women and one in four men will become the victim of violent crime in his or her lifetime.
• 73% of violent crime occurs within five miles of the victim’s home.
• A robbery occurs every 59 seconds.
• A rape occurs every six minutes.
• One out of every 100 households will have an automobile stolen and 2% of them will be by carjacking.
• More than 35,000 children are forcibly abducted each year.
• One in 12 women are stalked at some time in their lives. Last year, nearly 1,007,000 women were stalked.
• 80% of all restraining orders attained against stalkers are violated.

Given these statistics it is critical that we safe-guard our children and families against harm. Parents must know the basics of self-defense and how to teach self-defense to children. Kids should learn the “red flags” that signify an inappropriate conversation or a potentially dangerous encounter.

For example, have you told your child that adults never ask children for help? If an adult asks your child for help, she needs to know that is a warning to get away. Does your child know how to make a scene? Have you taught her to yell and scream, kick, scratch, bite, and strike at the body’s vulnerable parts. Does she know that you will not get mad at her if she yells, “Get away you are not my father! I don’t know you!”, if she feels threatened by a stranger?

Teach your kids street smarts, and how to remain alert and tuned-in at all times. Don’t be in denial. When we grew up, it was safe to walk home from school, to the local YMCA or to a friend’s house. It was safe for four-year olds to play in the yard or ride a bike down the side walk.

Not today.

Please — make sure you and your kids are prepared. You can purchase our self-defense kit, or enroll your kids in a martial arts school. Be prepared and you will give a gift to yourself and your family that will last a lifetime.

 

Love your kids up one side and down the other! Elena and Cari

http://www.momsonedge.com

Moms say, “Stop Beating Yourself Up!”

My son didn’t sleep through the night until he turned three.

I used to beat myself up about that fact. I was guilty, exhausted and convinced that I was a failure. All of the other mothers had kids sleeping from 7pm to 7am and taking a long nap in the afternoon.

I read a stack of books about teaching babies and children to go to bed and fall asleep on their own. I followed each of the methods; one month I was a baby whisperer, the next I was baby wise. Nothing worked, until he turned three and then he slept. (I give some credit to the Good Night Stoplight, a sleeping aid that my best friend and I invented.)

Now I look back at those first three years when I was so distraught and guilty and I feel bad for that new mother. My son is now four and sleeping and there is no indication that my inability to teach him how to fall asleep has in any way affected his development. Why was I so hard on myself? What did beating myself up accomplish?

Martha Sears has written a book in which she states that mothers are often blamed by psychologists for what goes wrong with children. Infant mortality rates are so low that mothers take it for granted that their children will survive. Now mothers worry about raising psychologically healthy children. Mothering is frightening because the cost of making a mistake is so high — nothing less than damaging your child’s psyche.

I read an article recently where a mother was condemning other mothers for using time-out mats, because a stair worked well enough for a time-out. Why condemn mothers for using behavioral aids or parenting tools that make life a little easier? Last year an article in the New York Times by a Professor Crain, lambasted mothers for using strollers, he claimed that overuse leads to inactivity which ultimately leads to childhood obesity. Google disposable diapers and landfills and you will want to start potty training your babies at birth.

I have used the sleep experience as a learning experience. I have two children now and mothering them has taught me that my instincts are good and to trust that little voice in my head that alerts me about potential problems. I know I will make mistakes but most likely none that I can’t correct. We will pass through many developmental phases as the boys grow up and some will be more challenging than others. I am going to do the best that I can and be a little easier on myself, love my kids up one side and down the other and know that everything is going to be okay.

Moms want to know if you are ever too hard on yourselves. Get your friends to contribute too! We can all learn from each other. Please post here!

Sincerely, Elena and Cari, Moms on Edge

 

Ten Parenting Tips For Parents Who Want to Stop “Bribing” Their Kids

Moms contact our company frequently with stories like this: The mom starts out by patiently asking her children to stop fighting. But after asking for the “umpteenth” time and having them ignore her, she starts to raise her voice, and then she feels horrible…and the kids still don’t listen. She reaches the end of her rope, is at her wit’s end, wants immediate results, so, “bribes the child.”

We tell the moms who ask us that bribes don’t work, even when you most want to use a bribe to settle your child. It is more effective to tell the child that he or she will face a consequence, if the unacceptable behavior continues and follow-through with that consequence. On the other hand, when the child behaves, you should praise, praise, and praise! Let him know that it is marvelous and wonderful when he listens. We have found that consistency and follow-through are essential.

Consistency, follow-through, and praise sound easy enough. Then why do parents so easily fall into the bribery trap?
Here are some parenting tips:

One reason is that raising kids and running a household is incredibly challenging. When you are half-way through folding a load of laundry and your child reaches over and tosses the folded clothes across the room; or when you are in the grocery store with a full basket and your child starts grabbing food out of the cart and pitching it onto the floor, what do you do?

It is definitely tempting to bribe children to stop the disruptive behavior with a new toy or a snack. However, rewarding the negative behavior with a bribe ultimately leads the child back to that same unacceptable behavior, the next time with a vengeance.

If the child gets a new toy for causing a scene in the supermarket, imagine what the child will get, if she starts screeching like a monkey in the middle of a busy shoe store in the mall.

It is really important to be your child’s advocate. Think about the tools your child needs to be equipped for teen years and adulthood. As hard as it is not to appease in the moment, consider your child’s best interest for the long run.

We offer ten tips for parents who want to find an alternative to bribery:

1. Immediately respond to the incident making sure that the child realizes that her behavior is unacceptable. Little kids need to be educated about right and wrong.

2. Use words the child will understand to explain that you are upset. Don’t assume she knows why you are unhappy. “Tammy, pulling the folded clothes out of the laundry basket is not okay. Mommy worked hard to fold those clothes. We have discussed this before. I am giving you a three minute time out.”

3. Follow-through, act immediately, and do what you say you are going to do. Do not make idle threats.

4. Ask the child to apologize.

5. Reward the child with a huge hug and kiss and thank him for completing the time-out. Then let it go. It is not fair to your child to dwell on an incident after he has completed the time-out or after you have taken away a toy or privilege.

6. Do not feel guilty that you had to reprimand your child. It is your obligation to your child to teach her proper behavior. If you are calm and choose an appropriate consequence then you are being a great parent.

7. Be on the look out for good behavior. How refreshing it is for kids to have their positive behavior recognized…especially when they weren’t expecting it to be noticed.

8. Keep a tally of all of the good behavior over the course of the day and reward with an extra story at bedtime, an extra fun craft project, or a “tickle extravaganza.” But most importantly, let the child know how proud you are of him or her.

9. Talk your children up! Say, “I have the most wonderful kids! I love to be with them!” Kids do hear you when you talk about them, loud and clear. Make sure that the majority of what they hear makes them feel warm and nurtured, loved, respected and cherished.

10. Children want limits set. They feel out of control if you don’t make the boundaries clear, and that scares them. One of the most wonderful gifts that you can give to your kids is to teach them how to behave properly.

Use these tough moments as teaching and shaping moments. And always remember to love your children up one side and down the other!

Moms would love to hear your thoughts about bribing kids.