Moms on Edge has been receiving a boat load of questions from you about everyday parenting issues. It is so great to hear from you and to give our input as moms. (We have been known to call on husbands and grandparents for questions beyond our scope.) Here is our weekly advice column to share your questions and our answers. Feel free to respond to the questions or our answers. You can e-mail us a question if you would like our two cents at email@example.com. All questions will remain anonymous.
Elena and Cari
Dear Moms on Edge,
My husband and I have a two year old baby who is still sleeping with us. We know that we need to move him to his own bed in his own room and feel like we have missed our window. Any thoughts?
Dear Ryan’s Mom,
Sleeping issues have been really stressful for both of us.
We suggest making this transition special, understanding that your child will probably feel both excited and anxious about his move. It may take a while to get him used to his new sleeping arrangement. We are softies and have had all of our kids in bed with us at one time or another- this is how we have made the move.
- Designate a special bed for your child. (Elena’s parents gave each of the grandchildren a gorgeous bed for their second birthdays…big thanks to them!)
- Purchase a special set of sheets for your child and get his input (two year olds have strong opinions about sheets, pillows and blankets).
- Wind down for thirty minutes before bed. Dim the lights, turn off the T.V. stop wrestling, use calm voices, snuggle up with a book or do a puzzle.
- Use a bedtime ritual that you do the same way every night (once established don’t skip anything or she/he will come out of his room to remind you). For example: take a bath, put on jammies, brush teeth, get in bed, give hugs and kisses, tell a story, turn out the lights, say prayers and thanks (“now no talking make happy pictures in your head”).
- If your toddler gets up, quietly put him back in bed without saying anything. You don’t want to positively reinforce his “pop up.”
Give this move time and don’t beat yourself up if your child has setbacks. We have a girlfriend who counted 80 “pop ups” in one evening…We Moms on Edge don’t have that kind of stamina in us and are sure that Mom, Dad, kids and dogs would be in the bed together after a lot fewer than 80 pop ups!
Dear Moms on Edge,
I am desperate to try and get help for my daughter who is 3.5 yrs. she is having a problem pooping in the toilet. This is my first child and I have tried all that I know and have even gotten advice, but nothing is working. She urinates fine and even goes through the night but will NOT poop. HELP ME!
Been there! One of our four year olds…we won’t name names but you know who you areJ has had, and occasionally still has, this problem. Some experts say that children can feel as though pooping and then flushing can be like losing a body part. They hold and hold and hold and hold and then when they finally go it is painful-then they are afraid of the pain and hold for another week…again, no names.
You should of course discuss this with your pediatrician. I can tell you what our pediatrician said and what has worked for us.
– High fiber foods (check your labels on breads, crackers etc.)
– A little Milk of Magnesia (again ask your pediatrician!)
– NO PRESSURE from Mom and Dad!
– Gentle guidance-when you see the “look” or the posture. (Our “holder” would hide behind a chair or find a hidden corner of the house and stop his little body from going). Lead your child to the potty and encourage. If your child doesn’t want to go let her hop back down; you can lead a horse to water…Eventually she will have to go back in.
– PRAISE, PRAISE, PRAISE when your child goes and NEVER SCOLD or PUNISH if she has an accident.
– PATIENCE – It took our little guy a year and he still doesn’t go every day or every three days, but he goes and the pediatrician said his schedule is just fine for him.
– Some stages that kids pass through are tougher than others but as one of our mothers repeatedly says about (sleeping, eating, potty training, etc), “He will be “fill in the blank” by the time he enters Harvard.”(How’s that for pressure!)